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A mother-daughter bond: Why Memphis coach Alex Simmons' daughter sits on the bench

Alex Simmons' youngest "coach" is her nine-year-old daughter.

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — One member of the Tigers sidelines may raise eyebrows upon first glance because she's in grade school.

Alex Simmons is in her first year leading the Memphis Women’s basketball program. She’s hired a coaching staff, brought in some players and is collecting wins.

Simmons is laid back in conversation. In Tigers basketball games and practices, however, the first-year coach can be intense. Her players and coaches match her energy, including the youngest one on the bench: Simmons' daughter Carsyn.

Carsyn began appearing on the sidelines with her mom two years ago at age seven, a tradition that started when Simmons was a coach at Gardner-Webb. The men's coach, Tim Kraft, had his son sit on the end of the bench. One day, Simmons asked Carsyn if she'd like to do the same.

"She sat one game, and next thing you know, she’s got responsibilities, which is to put the stool down and hand me the board during timeouts," Simmons said.

Carsyn is just nine, but she’s already a veteran when it comes to college basketball.

"I think it’s definitely brought us closer. Not only here at practice or in games, but she goes on the road with me. She loves the whole lifestyle, getting on the bus, getting on the plane," Simmons said.

The nine-year-old said she enjoys the food of different places and seeing arenas.

"I get to travel more places than with my dad," Carsyn said, when asked what was cool about her mom.

Being a coach can be tough and a parent tougher. Balancing motherhood while also being a mom away from home for her players is a skill Simmons is learning to master.

"I’m not a believer in separating the family and the business. That’s just one way I felt like I could integrate my family into what I do on the daily 24-hour basis," Simmons said.

Carsyn and younger sister Channing are staples at practice, sometimes watching intently at drills or mom's coaching. Other times they play games or shoot basketballs or raid the team room for snacks.

Simmons said being around the team is certainly developing Carsyn's own interest in basketball. In true Memphis fashion, she's begun playing on a team herself for the first time and already shows aptitude for the game.

"I'm always on the floor. I'm never off," she said. "I'm good at hustling."

When she's not on the road with mom, the Simmons said Carysn will grab a notebook and watch games, taking notes and describing concepts and calls to her dad, Christian.

Simmons isn't just a mom to her daughters. The family lifestyle extends to players as well.

Senior guard Ki'Ari Cain has known the Simmons family for five years. She initially played for Simmons at Gardner-Webb and followed the coach to Memphis.

She described their relationship as "mother-daughter." Cain lost her own mother and said that Simmons stepped up.

"(Simmons) and my mom were really close, so she made a lot of promises to my mom, and she filled that role in pretty good," Cain said.

Carsyn is like a sister to Cain, a role that guard relishes. Often times the younger girl will watch Cain shoot and go through drills, asking questions.

Carsyn said she does not necessarily look at the older girls as sisters but certainly as mentors, and the close relationships are undeniable. 

The coach's kid has even taken to wearing sweatpants to basketball practice, something Cain said the grade schooler got from her. Knowing that young eyes are on her changed the way Cain carried herself.

"That’s every little kid's dream. Who wouldn’t want to be around a bunch of women as role models?" Cain said. "When you have kids like Carsyn watching, it just reminds me ‘You can’t do this. You can’t do that.' It keeps me in check, and that’s a good thing."

Seeing her daughters at practice and games is having the effect on her players that Simmons wanted. She reminds her players that they are role models not just for her own girls, but other girls in the Memphis community.

Simmons encourages the Tigers to hold themselves to a high standard, but in the heat of the battle of a basketball game, even she can lose her cool. Carsyn's presence on the sidelines changed the way her mom walks and talks.

"We’ve been in some tight and tough games. I always have in the back of my mind that she’s basically sitting directly behind me. Just from a decorum standpoint as a coach and a woman," Simmons said.

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